I am the CEO of an intellectual property management company with about 125 employees. And, I believe in running lean. While I outsource primary staffing, major health care, safety and policing infrastructure, and some employee data-management, I run all of my company’s departments myself. I guess I am a bit of a control freak.
I run our Supervision, Safety, and Conflict-Management Department. To keep operations running lean, I personally oversee all day-to-day, workplace supervision and crisis management. Employees in my field struggle to stay on task, and their basic communication and self-management skills are terrible, so I attend to their work-related (and often not work related) personal issues, their relationship problems, and their inter-employee conflicts. I also personally provide frontline medical help for injuries and illnesses. In particular, we are dedicated to our employees’ mental health, so I monitor each of them daily to see how they are holding up, serving as counselor when needed.
I also run our Policy Integration and Regulation Department. Our field is highly regulated. My company answers to many stakeholders, and most of them do not share a common vision, so our work environment is often mired in turbulence and conflict. Many of the regulations that my company must follow make our work harder and less effective, but we try to remain positive. Particularly challenging is the regulation that I must independently design and monitor each of my 125 employees’ work stations. But, to keep things running lean, I personally handle all communications with regulators, who require an enormous amount of evidence and documentation as proof that we are following established expectations and protocols. In fact, sections of these protocols require our company to do regular employee evaluations, about two to three evaluations a week for all 125 employees. And, every evaluation must align with specific regulatory goals, and each evaluation must be carefully documented. To run lean, I handle this work and this documentation myself.
I also run our Communications and Community Outreach Department. Our many stakeholders require a constant flow of information, so while I outsource the needed infrastructure, I personally manage all of our communications with thousands of people via email, social media, our many websites, and our newsletters. But, we get a lot of complaints, so I also run our Complaint Department.
I run our Future Vision, Workplace Rigor, and Employee Entertainment Division. We pride ourselves in being cutting edge, so I constantly adjust my workplace policies, my employees’ job expectations, and our workflow patterns. Truth be told, most of these changes are initiated by the regulators, who require me to attend conferences so I can learn to pursue different goals each year. We find it best never allow our employees the opportunity to get too confident or too comfortable. That said, regulators insist that our company keep our employees happy and entertained, so while I am required to work my employees very hard, I am also required to keep morale very high. In fact, to keep my employees from becoming too stressed and too unhappy, regulators increasingly require that I do more and more of their work for them. I do that work at home in the evenings, on weekends, or while my employees attend events that are meant to keep them entertained.
As you can imagine, the day-to-day management of my company is an enormous task, and the regulators require an increasingly incredible amount of documentation, and the larger community’s needs are never ending, but I refuse to hire any help. In fact, I pride myself in the fact that I do not even have a single secretary!
I will run a lean company or I will die trying.
Oh, I forgot to share my company’s name. Teacher.